Ask a romantic and they’ll say there’s only one form of love worth talking about: true love. However، psychologists view matters of the heart more pragmatically، and actually think there may be six different styles of love. In a recent article published on The Conversation، Rachel Grieve، a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Tasmania، explained the six love types so you can better understand which category you and your sweetheart may fall into.
As Grieve explains in her essay، she's not the first to propose that there are several different types of love. In fact، she says this idea dates back to the ancient Greeks. In addition، you aren’t necessarily locked into one “category” of love with your lover، and most individuals will fluctuate throughout their relationship.
This form of love is the fairytale head-over-heels love many of us experience in adolescence. Eros love is highly driven by physical attraction. Unfortunately، it is also not very strong as individuals in this category are more likely to run from lover to lover in order to keep this feeling fresh.
When the butterflies of eros love have faded، you may be lucky enough to end up with storge love. This love is stable، and values psychological closeness and trust over physical attraction.
Unfortunately، all is not fair in love and war، and ludus lovers are in it to win it. According to Grieve، these competitive lovers have low levels of commitment and high levels of infidelity. They enjoy the thrill of the chase، which makes them exciting hookups، but not very reliable if you are looking for anything further.
These lovers are pragmatic to the core، and are much more interested in the skills and assets of their potential lover than their physical features. These lovers are very interested in the future and are looking for potential mates with skills necessary to make their relationship last in the long run، whether this be financially or emotionally based.
Just as the name suggests، this type of love is manic. Those who find themselves in a mania love often obsess over their lovers in a near-unhealthy manner. These types of lovers also tend to be very dependent on the object of their affection and jealousy is a common problem for these relationships.
This type of love is caring، unconditional، and extremely kind. Agape lovers tend to be very affectionate and in tune with the needs of their partners. As pointed out by Grieve، this type of lover also tends to have high levels of relationship satisfaction، so maybe there’s something we can all learn from agape love.
Love is the source of life’s greatest pleasures and biggest heartbreaks، and although sometimes it feels like you’re uncontrollably falling for someone، science suggests we have much more of a say over matters of the heart. For example، a study released last year found that positive or negative thinking could help to rekindle or extinguish feelings of love. So if you find yourself in a relationship or form of love that you’re not happy with، getting out may be easier than you think.